I have forgotten what its like to love.
Scared of relinquishing control,
The darkness that lingers on the very precipice of light
Just tonight, as I was browsing through the supermarket,
I thought about how my life is so full of new friends, full to the brim of experiences I did not have with you,
That my ache is dulling.
Then I came home to my house (What used to be ours)
And there was an absence. Not you, necessarily, but a witness to my life.
The dog wagged its tail.
I slid down the wall.
And then, looking at it on Facebook, it being everywhere, that bastard love.
Images of tenderness, togetherness.
I died a little more inside.
Wishing for what we had so many years ago
Before disappointment, lies and absence arrived on our doorstep.
The lady at the checkout counter remarked, “I hope you get spoilt tomorrow.”
Tomorrow being Valentines Day and all.
Talk about salt in a wound,
Even though that wound has a scar covering the gaping mess.
An impeccable bandage.
I’m on the hook of someone else’s life today.
Spoilt by love,
The premise of love,
The absence of it when I once knew it.
Like an amputated limb, apparently you still feel it.